No more wasting time, then! Let's get right to the questions:
Hi Faker Matty. My first question involves the Brave and the Bold toyline. Batman the Brave and the Bold is an excellent cartoon with tons of well designed and appealing male and female characters, and I'm willing to wager plenty of female fans too, but the toyline is a sausage-fest. Will we ever see female characters in the toyline?
FM: Bubbashelby, our research & development team have chronic social issues and have never known the touch of the fairer sex. Thus, girl toys are yucky, and tough boys don't play with dollies.
Adora sold out in, what, sixteen seconds? Skeletor has sold out on three separate "releases." MOTUC seems to be extremely popular and gaining momentum by the day, yet you claimed early on that it couldn't possibly survive at retail. What gives?
FM: Our newest method of estimating quantities is to increase the run by 10 figures each release. Babysteps. Since we keep selling out, we know for sure that we are still not producing too many figures. We just don't have any idea how many we could be selling. That means......we couldn't possibly survive at re...tail?
I thought JLU was a Target exclusive line, yet people are starting to find them at Big Lots (some are even finding ultra HTF packs like the Cheetah release.) How can this be?
FM: We can't control what happens outside our offices. Sometimes whole shipments of figures end up at the wholesale fruit auctions at the docks.
Faker Matty, you claimed you would give a prize when your fan page reached 100 fans, but it seems to have stalled out closer to ninety. Is this a deliberate act to save you from having to fulfill your promise to your fans?
FM: We keep our numbers under control by banning fans who question our policies. Note: Bubbashelby was just banned and the MattyImpostor fan page count went down to 87.
Faker Matty, I found the ultra cool Hotwheels Ecto-1 recently, only later to discover it is going to be a smaller run than most Hotwheel cars. Is it true Mattel has a company wide product release formula: Mattel Toys = 1/2X (wherein X = Product folks want) + 300Y (wherein Y = Product no one wants.) This formula would certainly explain the amount of Avatar product produced.
FM: Again, we can't control what happens inside our own offices either. We feel that mathematics is for scientists, not product marketing analytics specialists.
Faker Matty, 2010 already has a PoP and a New Adventures figure scheduled in the MOTUC line. Can we expect any other non MOTU proper surprises in the upcoming months?
FM: We thought we would make a figure based on a stupid 30 second skit from a Seth Green claymation instead of making more relevant characters.
Faker Matty, what is the meaning of life?
FM: We can't answer that at this time.
Faker Matty, does the "Infinite" in DC Infinite Heroes stand for how high you are willing to raise the price?
FM: We resent that remark, as well as comments such as, "Crisis on Multiple Repaints".
Does the "Universe" in DC Universe Classics stand for how far I need to travel to complete any one wave?
FM: SIGGGHHHHHHHHH...I've answered this beforrrrre...But I GUESSS I'll answer it agaiiinnnnnnnn....We can't be responsible for distribution blah blah blah...
Last question; is there a Mrs. Faker Matty?
FM: Yes, and she may or may not support my social media policy.
Thanks again FM! See you in
And don't forget to fan Faker Matty's Facebook page if you haven't already done so! When Faker Matty reaches 100 fans one lucky fan will win an original piece of art from Faker Matty's doppelganger, illustrator Ryan Hipp!
Hey, I resent that! (I want a Mo-Larr figure...)
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty funny, and it could be applied to pretty much any Q&A.
ReplyDeletethese things are the suck. stop being a bitter fanboy and try doing something creativew with your website
ReplyDeleteIt's called "parody," bezem520. It may not be as "creativew" as starting sentences with lower-case letters, but we do what we can with our limited resources. Please continue to indulge us with your "creativew" suggestions in the future. Your input is greatly appreciated.
ReplyDeleteOoooo I saw that one coming. I knew when I had a typo in there my butt was going to get reamed, but the lack of capitalization was out of left field. Touche Whiny fan-boy, touche. The fact that this is parody was quite understood; I just think you should come up with something more interesting that's all.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I apologize for double posting but I realized I forgot to ream YOU for calling the POP and NA figures a 'surprise;' we've known all along that there would be at least 1 of each this year, in the subscription. Selective memory doesn't count as 'parody.' Also, correcting grammar mistakes on the internet is like winning the Special Olympics; you're still a retard. I'm done now, sorry to have invaded your blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for the insight, bezem520. There's nothing like a new, unknown blog responder who comments three times on a post he clearly doesn't like, on a blog he doesn't follow and knows nothing about, to highlight to me (and Faker Matty) our lack of creativity and our fan-boy obsessiveness. Thanks for being the guiding beacon of loser-hood in an otherwise dull and creatively bankrupt blog.
ReplyDeleteI shall now spend my free time gardening, stock trading, knitting or doing some other more noble pursuit, and abandon this blog completely. I am forever in your debt, good sir.
To be fair, I was going to comment on your Tron blog entry but the question I was going to ask was answered by someone else's comment. I read through your blog (and a couple of the others of yours) before I made my comment, and I've lurked a little on it before. The first Faker Matty I almost said something but didn't; this time I couldn't keep quiet. Sorry that because I haven't been following your blog since its inception I am not allowed to have an opinion on it. If a random person says something nice on your blog, do you ridicule them as well? Anyway, I wasn't trying to start a flame war, I'm just on break and bored. I love toys too, or else I wouldn't be here. I just get tired of everyone talking sh*t on Matty, then continuing to buy their products. This isn't the only place I've called shenanigans on such behavior. I am finding this discussion quite entertaining though, as you apparently are too. Truce?
ReplyDeleteTruce. Mi Bloga es su Bloga, or something like that.
ReplyDeleteWhew, that was close. I was not really looking forward to knitting. ;)
For the record, bezem520, BubbaShelby is just being kind enough to facilitate my shenanigans. I'm the obsessive fanboy that can't give Matty a break and keeps buying their product. For the record, Matty started this.
ReplyDelete