Paranoia may Destro ya

I never got into GI Joe as a kid, but recently came into possession of the two main baddies from the series, Destro and Cobra Commander.

Was this Cobra Commander's first look? The sheet over his head? Or did this evolve from his mirror mask? I was never sure which came first.

I always saw Destro as the 'Boba Fett' of the GI Joe universe. Mysterious and masked and a badass who could and should be running the show. Sort of like Soundwave. Anyways, looking at this guy I have to wonder, is he wearing a tan undershirt or is he bare chested? Because if he's bare chested and wearing a metal gimp mask...well then I just don't know what to think about this guy any more.

Not much else to say about these guys except...yo Joe?

Got tough stains? Use Ultra Humanite! Now with Retsin!

One of my favorite action figures of all time is Ultra Humanite from the Justice League action figure toyline.

I just love the character design and character himself. Originally debuting as a proto Lex Luthor (bald mad scientist against Superman) in Action Comics #13, June 1939, Ultra Humanite was killed off in 1940 and didn't re-appear until years later as part of Earth 2 continuity.

Ultra Humanite has survived for many years by transferring his brain from his original body into various vessels over the decades, finally settling on an albino ape (because ALBINO APE!)

As odd a choice as he may seem, Ultra Humanite was one of the first villains to be released in action figure form for the Justice League cartoon. He was of course a welcome foil to the original seven and also of course quite hard to find (because MATTEL!)

In addition, he was released looking exactly like he did in the cartoon, not with day-glow pants or a scuba suit (like most toys from that era.) Ultra Humanite is also superior to most standard Justice League or JLU action figures in that 1) he's an oversized figure roughly in scale to his cartoon counterpart with the other Justice League action figures 2) his construction includes zero re-used parts and 3) he can stand upright on his own.

All of these factors were a big deal in the early 2000s when Ultra Humanite made his plastic debut.

Another factor in making this Ultra Humanite a favorite action figure of mine: I am not an articulationazi; in my opinion Ultra Humanite has just the right amount. Shoulders, elbows, legs, neck and even wrists!

I don't need an Ultra Humanite that can do the splits or suck his own toes and neither do you.

Sadly, although Ultra Humanite is an oversized figure he appears either undersized (or Gorilla Grodd is oversized) when placed next to the JLU Gorilla Grodd action figure. This fact is a wonder of science and nature because Mattel could have very easily re-used UH parts to make Grodd (because MATTEL!) yet they did not, opting instead to just make Gorilla Grodd a hard to find Target exclusive packed with a bunch of re-issues (because MATTEL!)

Finally, Ultra Humanite is awesome because he fits in with almost any toyline of this scale: He can be a Cobra experiment gone awry, he can hang with the big boys in the Mos Eisley Cantina, he can stomp Lego mini-figures until the Lego cows come home.

He is indeed Ultra.

Ultra Humanite originally came with a gun/hoversled accessory which wasn't half bad but is stored away somewhere else for now. But that's okay, Ultra Humanite needs nothing but his keen intellect to destroy the Justice League, the JSA, Superman, or even that chrome-domed pretender Lex Luthor!

Poisunday Ivy :: I needed a 'Poisunday Ivy' badge...

...so like my Harley Qwednesday and Catwoman Purrrsday badges over on the sidebar there, I made one myself!

And for the art lovers out there, here's a little glimpse into the process from sketch...

 

...to finished piece...

In drawing this I realized that Poison Ivy is essentially a fertility goddess, and therefore she should be represented with a bit more  meat on her bones, like the fertility idols of ancient civilizations.

Astute viewers and followers of my art blog may also notice I fixed her boob.

Catwoman Purrrsday :: Michelle Pfeiffer

It is incredible to think that twenty years ago today in 1992 I was waiting on bated breath for any news and images about Catwoman's appearance in the upcoming Batman sequel 'Batman Returns,' and here I am in 2012 once again waiting on bated breath for news and images on Catwoman's appearance in the Batman sequel 'The Dark Knight Rises.'

But I digress. Today let's look again at the best thing about Batman Returns: Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman!

Meow.

I was Junior in High School when the anticipation for this sequel was hitting a fever pitch. I couldn't wait for summer to arrive so I could see Michelle Pfieffer in all her black vinyl glory...I mean...see the sequel to my favorite movie of all time, 1989's 'Batman.'

Yeah.

I had quite a few posters of Ms. Pfeiffer in my bedroom, culled from the only source available: movie magazines, back in that pre-internet time we like to refer to now as 'The Stone Ages.'

I drew pictures on my desk of Batman and Catwoman and Penguin with the tagline 'The Bat, The Cat, The Penguin.' Once after High School I met a girl who had gone to the same school as I but whom I never knew; she knew me from my desk vandalism and said she loved coming into the classroom each day (she had the class after I did) and seeing what I had drawn on the desk.

Chicks dig rebels.

Anyways, the Michelle Pfeiffer/Tim Burton Catwoman was like nothing we'd seen before. A costume that emphasized it's homemade nature with a 'Bride of Frankenstein' meets 'Dominatrix' tone, Miss Pfeiffer brought the costume design to the next level with a sexy swagger and low purring voice that melted many a viewer like butter!

Say what you will about 'Batman Returns,' it isn't the perfect Batman film but it isn't the worst by a long shot (Damn you Schumacher...DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!) and it's hard to deny that Michelle brought something nearing purrrfection to the silver screen.

Watching the movie again as I write this post, I am a bit amazed that I really do like it. Call it nostalgia or whatever, but this is MY Batman, this is MY Gotham City. Burton, Keaton, Nicholson, Hingle, Gough, DeVito, Pfeiffer...they defined 'Batman' for me and my generation, and they did a pretty damn good job of it.

I may consider myself older and wiser and like to think that Nolan, Bale, Ledger et al are the best, and while they are a more mature 'realistic' look at Gotham City, I really really love the pseudo 40s depression Fritz Lang Metropolis black on black Gotham City the two Burton movies created.

It is beyond a crying shame to think that after 'Batman Returns' TWO sure-thing comic book movie properties were brought to their knees (the Batman franchise and the solo Catwoman film that inexplicably did not star Michelle Pfeiffer) but in hindsight at least Keaton and Pfeiffer stayed away when they saw what was happening to their characters (whether it was by choice or otherwise.)

Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman will forever stand out as a beautiful unique creation that can never be duplicated. In today's Hollywood, that's quite an achievement!