Green (Hornet) with Envy

I try to avoid paying too close attention to fast food toys, because inevitably I find out something awesome is available and then become a little too neurotic about getting them, which in turn has me questioning my sanity as well as my claim to the label 'adult' as I go into every restaurant from Santa Cruz to Santa Maria for weeks looking for some cheap toy meant to market a movie or cartoon to five year olds as they consume french fries and coca-cola.

But thanks to Jay over at The Sexy Armpit, I discovered that Carl's Jr. was selling some pretty righteous looking Green Hornet toys. Ironic, because there are no Carl's Jr.s in New Jersey. There are however tons of them here in California.

Green Hornet is a superhero I dig and a new movie I enjoyed, and it isn't a property that has been heavily marketed in toy form in my time, so of course I had to have those toys!

Now here's where I brag and show off a little. You see, I wasn't able to get all the toys myself. I tried my local Carl's Jr. but they only had Black Beauty. A little pull-back number that of course I bought.

So I mentioned my failure to procure the entire set in passing to the girl I had seen the Green Hornet movie with. A gorgeous redhead who was not quite yet my girlfriend. Just a funny little 'yes I'm a toy dork and to prove it I tried to buy fast food toys, but I didn't get them all, oh well whadyagonnado' type story.

So what does she do? Completely unprompted and of her own volition, she finds a Carl's Jr. when in a town a few miles away and buys all the rest of the toys for me! And does so right before another toy dork walks in trying to buy two complete sets. That guy was sniped and had to walk out without a second Kato! Hahahaa!

Yeah, she's my girlfriend now.

Okay, back to the toys:

Aw yeah Kato and Green Hornet action figures! These guys are actually pretty great.

Simple enough to not be a Seth Rogen action figure, (because good god who would want one of those?) Green Hornet is a pretty sweet fedora-and-suit clad pulp hero figure.

And his chauffer/sidekick Kato looks dapper in his motoring cap.

Finally, the series included this Green Hornet mask! This was originally the one piece I was most excited about, but the rest of the toys turned out to be pretty cool as well. Not bad for toys of a relatively obscure character from a movie with the potential to be a huge flop sold at a fast food restaurant that is only found in the western US! And take heed, toy nerds; because if I can put that stupid thing on my face and still get the girl, there is hope for all of you.

Oh yeah, before I knew about the kids meal toys, I did buy this Black Beauty keychain from Carl's Jr. a month or so ago. Because a Chrysler Imperial with machine guns on the front fenders is always a cool thing.

I'm Just a Skater Boy...

Actually, I'm not. I haven't owned a skateboard since the late seventies. Those skinny vinyl/plastic numbers were pretty sweet...but I digress.

These guys are skater boys - finger-skater boys that is!

They are also blatant ripoffs of pop culture icons that border on (if not cross by miles) copyright infringement - maybe skateboarding, or at least finger-skating, is a crime after all!



Let's start with Adam. Yup, that's the name Tech Deck gave Batm...I mean this non-descript blue and grey clad pointy eared utility belt wearing individual (back off, lawyers!) when they released him a few years back. I think they actually got some heat from this one, because he was only around for a very short time, he has never been re-released, there is no mention or sign of him on the Tech Deck website, and the name "Adam" has been used on a different figure (a Zombie) ever since.

As you can see, Adam is an OG Tech Deck Dude, from back before they gave the figures arms. Their schtick is that these guys are little living fingers. They even have fingernails sculpted into the backs of their heads. Whatever - if anyone can fight crime without arms, it's Batman.


Up next is Megatr...I mean Mort (whew, that was a close one!) Mort is a recent release and can still be found on the shelves. He's a special Tech Deck Dude who comes with a pet "Zood." Mort's zood is a total rip...er looks vaguely like the G1 Transformer Ratbat if you squint.


This here is Bruce. There was once a famous Kung-Fu expert named Bruce Lee, who played a character named Kato on television. Kato was the Green Hornet's chauffeur. I don't know why I mentioned all that, as clearly it has no relevance to this Tech Deck guy who they call Bruce.


This is Minga *coughcough Optimus Prime coughcough* Sorry. Where was I?


"One shall stand, one shall fall...off the half pipe."


"You remind me of a kid I once knew. He was a good soldier."

Tech Deck does characters like this every so often. There's a Robocop, a Terminator, a purple Hulk, and just recently I spotted two new releases blatantly ripping...I mean vaguely reminiscent of Dr. Doom and Onslaught from Marvel comics.

They're usually pretty cheap - around 3-5 bucks each, so I suggest you grab the ones you want when you see them. You never know when a lawyer might be walking down the toy aisle, or reading a toy blog for that matter ;)