It's not easy being...

...green JLArmy men!

Tom of Freak Studios came though for me big time when he told me he had come across one of my biggest "wants" from Argentina - a handful of little plastic DC Superheroes!

I don't know the full story behind these guys, but I have seen them occasionally pop up online (often credited to toy manufacturer Gulliver and coming out of Argentina) and have always longed for some of my own. I've always loved the cheap charm of monochrome mini plastic figurines, and when those monochrome mini plastic figurines are fashioned after DC Superheroes I'm doubly in love!

So when I asked Tom if he'd seen any in his toy hunting travels and he showed me these, I just about flipped!

My personal favorite is of course Batman. Bats is looking regal in green, and although he looks like he suffered a broken nose in a scuffle with villainy, he's in great shape.

Next up is Superman, also in green. These guys are all set for the JLA St. Pat's party! Supes is in beautiful condition and I love how their symbols are embossed and their costume components and face sculpts are very well done. God I wish I could go down to the drug store and buy a bag of these guys for a buck. I'd install one of those ball-pit type things like at Chuck E. Cheese and fill it with thousands of these guys and swim in it daily like Uncle Scrooge...ahem...sorry.

Next up is Batgirl in pretty pretty yellow. Batgirl is a little rougher and the sculpt is less clean - she may be a later cast as the tool began to wear down.

Here's Flash one, we'll call him Barry. Barry is supposed to have wings on his ears and boots but only has one boot wing left. He has some other casting issues too but that's okay because he's still epically cool!

Flash two, we'll call him Wally, is a lighter green matching Batman and Superman and Daiquiri Ice ice cream from Baskin-Robbins! He also has only one boot wing. He outran the others.

Orange Robin aka Dickie is the cleanest casting of all. He's in great shape and must be one of the earliest figures here. He's flawless and clean and beautiful, just like a youthful ward should be.

Red Robin aka Jason is pretty rough. Probably a very late casting. I'd call a 1-900 number to put him out of his misery if DC asked me to. Red Robin is also completely void of his name on the base. All the other figures have their name cast into their base, but Robin here does not, and it isn't because it wore off the figure, it just isn't there. Maybe another clue as to where he falls in the history of these guy' manufacture.

"Dang! You look like you've been beat by a crowbar and left for dead, Jason! Maybe you should put a hood over your head. While you do that, I'll be Batman."

"Here we go round the mulberry bush!"

These guys are all unbelievably awesome! I need to go buy a bag of army men so I can have Batman and Superman and Flash and even Batgirl and Robin swing in and save the day!

I can't believe Tom was able to track them down for me so quickly and effortlessly. I'm beginning to think Argentina is the ultimate destination for a toy lover. Come to think of it, they probably have topless beaches too.

I'm booking my flight now, Tom; I hope you have a big couch!

Fisto, meet the Fisto

As a kid, I really thought Fisto was one cool cat.


I didn't own him at the time, but a dude with a massive gauntlet on one hand whose sole purpose was to wallop the evil forces stacked against the Masters...that's my kind of guy!


To be honest, I have owned a Fisto figure for a couple years. But he is missing his armor. And hear me now but believe me later, Fisto without his armor looks more like he belongs in a parade in San Francisco than in the army of Eternia. I think it's the mustache.

But as (my) luck would have it, I found a bunch of MOTU at the swap meet last weekend and in the mess was a complete armored Fisto! And near mint too, he must not have been that kids favorite. He's missing his sword but seriously, this dude doesn't need no stinkin' sword!

Fisto not only has the standard waist punch feature of most MOTU, but he has an upper-cut action on his gauntlet clad arm too. Whammo!

"Hey sailor, wanna smooch?"

"I don't kiss on the first date, Mick Jagger, and I always insist that my date take me out for a meal. So how about a knuckle sandwich?"

"Wow...whatta man!"

Included in the pile of toys I got last weekend was Leech. He's a member of Hordak's Horde.

Leech's action feature is a button on his back that allows him to "suction" to the wall.

I never had Leech as a kid either, but for completely different reasons. You see, I always thought of Hordak and his Horde as "girl toys."

Hordak and the Horde all tormented She-Ra on her cartoon. And She-Ra was a girl's cartoon. Ergo, Hordak and his cronies were girls toys. And I wanted no part of them. My little sister insisted on watching the show of course, and I hated it. Although I always found Loo-kee first.

But I digress.

I even had a friend who had all the Horde figures at the time. He would play with them when we played MOTU and I thought it was odd, as the Horde were clearly girl toys, but whatever. Be the Horde - it allowed me to be the good guys anyways. By the way, this kid also sang show-tunes during elementary school talent contests. And today he's active in his local theatre. True story. Proving I was correct about these Horde "guys" all along.

Anyways, now that I am an adult and willing to give even dollies a chance at a happy home with me, I am also willing to give the Horde a chance and have welcomed Leech into my home with open arms and an open mind.

But if he tries to kiss me he's out.

Somewhere, Beyond the Sea...

I've been taking cursory glances at the Gormiti toys ever since they hit the shelves a couple years ago. If you haven't seen them, they are little non-articulated creature figurines based on the elements (tagline: "The Invincible Lords of Nature!") with a rudimentary card game associated with them. Toys like that hit my nostalgia bone hard due to my love of Battle Beasts and M.U.S.C.L.E. and other such things growing up. So I usually check them out and think they look pretty cool and then walk away.

Until now.

This is Lord Polypus. Both of them are, apparently. It turns out Gormiti are now making 5" figures of a few of their primary characters, with a specially painted mini-figure included.

I see this big guy at Toys R Us the other day and now not only is my Battle Beast and M.U.S.C.L.E., well, muscle, tingling...but my MOTU muscle is as well. This guy is in scale to the original Masters of the Universe figures and shares similar dimensions and fondness for near nudity; he looks like he should be a minion of Mer-Man!

He's also all kinds of blue, which seems to be a theme lately here at Toyriffic. Better shift into green gear soon with St. Patrick's Day looming!

The smaller figure is all kinds of awesome as well. He reminds me of my Ducktopus. He doesn't do anything but stand there and have his face slowly digested by an octopus, but I guess that takes a lot out of a guy so he's forgiven.

I really love toy series that give you different sized creatures in the same "universe." It really enhances the playability of an action figure line. I like to imagine that this little guy is the brains of the operation, and his big brutish self is the brawn made from some cloning experiment or something.

Good times.

In addition to being fully articulated, (head, hips, shoulders, knees and elbows,) Lord Polypus' parts are interchangeable with all the other 5" Gormiti figures. I will eventually have to get another one so I can swap parts; there was a cool one with a lobster arm that Lord Polypus has his eyes on.

Fun toys these Gormiti. Apparently the line originated in Italy. Which makes these guys the Ferrari of...I don't know...small non-articulated figurines with rudimentary card games.

"You know what they say about a guy with a big nose, dontcha?"

The Blue Brothers. Hahahhaha - sorry.

Buy stuff by me at Zazzle!

History shows again and again...

I love Godzilla, and I grew up during the golden age of cheap plastic Imperial Dinosaurs, so when I spotted this bootlegy looking Godzilla toy at the Goodwill last week, I knew he had to be mine!

I'm pretty sure this is an Imperial Godzilla knock-off. I don't know if the company that produced this one is legit, if they bought old molds or sold this guy as "random atomic dinosaur beast," but he has no markings besides "Made in China" on the base of his right foot - a sure indicator that the manufacturer wishes to remain anonymous.

He looks nearly identical to the Godzilla toys manufactured by Imperial in the mid eighties, except that those Godzilla figures had hollow open mouths...

...and Fakezilla here has a solid mouth, complete with partially painted tongue! Now THAT'S quality!

The Imperial Godzilla was also green. This guy is an odd combination of beige plastic with orange paint covering most of his backside and a spritzing of green highlights.

It gives him the look of unripened citrus.

Not very Godzilla-like in the color department, unless you're color blind, which is an affliction I have a strong suspicion the designer of this toy suffered from.

Kooky coloration aside, there's no mistaking this Tokyo tromping beast. He's Godzilla on (Citric) Acid!

"Wassaaaaaaap!"

This guy may be a dime a dozen. He may be a decade old or a week old. He may be available at the dollar store or in the grocery store right now. He may be easy to come by. He may be as elusive as a Blue Snaggletooth.

I don't know.

And I don't care.

Because he's gaudy and cool and my house is so full of ridiculous toys that he just had to come home with me!