Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I Love Dick

Grayson.
Chunky B over at Eclectorama posted the Toybiz Flash today, and *gasp* had the audacity to say "I usually ditch Robin and Bats teams up with Flash."

How could he?!?! The Toybiz Robin is clearly superior to The Toybiz Flash in every way! Let's take a look a the facts.

First off, Robin has a COOL action feature, which allows him to do a karate chop! The Flash has epileptic seizures. Point: Robin.

The button to activate Robin's chop is hidden under his cape. The Flash has a wind up knob (or cancerous tumor) growing out of his back. And no cape to hide it. Bonus Point: Robin.

When not activated, Robin's karate chop feature reveals his friendly nature, as he reaches his hand out in friendship to fellow superheroes and citizens alike. The Flash has two balled-up fists and some anger issues to work out. Point: Robin.

Robin also has access to all of Batman's spiffy vehicles, including the Toybiz Batcycle from 1989. The Flash runs. For fun.

In the immortal words of Pat Buttram "Run for fun? What the hell kind of fun is that?"
Point: Robin.
Let's see the Flash do THAT!

Robin was in the circus. The Flash, I dunno if he even has a job, or hobbies. He runs for fun after all. Point: Robin.

Final tally: Robin: like, a bazillion points. Flash: Zero. No need to go on. So let's take a closer look at the 1989 Toybiz Batcycle. It has a kick stand!

When you push a button on the gas tank, the side panels flip down to make little wings. Why? Who knows, I don't think it's supposed to fly or anything.

The bike was designed to compliment the '89 Batmobile and it does a pretty good job. Simple, fluid lines and lots of black. I'm sure it's pretty fast too.

But not as fast as The Flash!

Okay okay, the Flash can have one point, just so he doesn't try and outrun his tears.

7 comments:

Jon K said...

Well, since the Flash presented there was the Barry Allen Flash, then he was a police scientist, which -- according to all the CSI shows -- is oen of the coolest jobs around. Dick Grayson was a college student who sponged off his millionaire foster dad. I'd say that's at least a point for the Flash!

Bubbashelby said...

DOH!

Barry Allen never crossed my mind! I was thinking it was Wally West.

Damn you Crisis on Infinite Earths!

;)

Jon K said...

I'm pretty sure whatever information was on the card for the Toy Biz Flash indicated it was Barry - heck, the TB Flash was basically a copy of the Super Powers one!

chunky B said...

point toyriffic

http://eclectorama.blogspot.com/2008/09/point-toyriffic.html

Jay Amabile said...

I consider myself an authority on Batman stuff based off the 89 film although the batcycle from Toy Biz wasn't even on my radar...I never knew it existed! I thought the first batcycle was part of the Dark Knight Collection by Kenner...now I know the truth! The Kenner Super Powers were far superior than their copies from Toy Biz. Robin's face looked odd..compare it to the Super Powers Robin face which looked 100% more accurate and "comic booky"

Bubbashelby said...

CB - that is awesome, and earns so many bonus points for The Flash that I think it makes it a tie!

Jay, I have the Kenner one as well. I may have to post it soon.

chunky B said...

Thought you would get a kick out of that...

Jay, How could you not have this cycle, it is sweeeeet! I like it much better than the recycled Robocop Bat Cycle from Kenner, Had that one at one time too, or I should say my son did.

It's a kick seeing all this stuff again!