I Love Dick

Chunky B over at Eclectorama posted the Toybiz Flash today, and *gasp* had the audacity to say "I usually ditch Robin and Bats teams up with Flash."

How could he?!?! The Toybiz Robin is clearly superior to The Toybiz Flash in every way! Let's take a look a the facts.

First off, Robin has a COOL action feature, which allows him to do a karate chop! The Flash has epileptic seizures. Point: Robin.

The button to activate Robin's chop is hidden under his cape. The Flash has a wind up knob (or cancerous tumor) growing out of his back. And no cape to hide it. Bonus Point: Robin.

When not activated, Robin's karate chop feature reveals his friendly nature, as he reaches his hand out in friendship to fellow superheroes and citizens alike. The Flash has two balled-up fists and some anger issues to work out. Point: Robin.

Robin also has access to all of Batman's spiffy vehicles, including the Toybiz Batcycle from 1989. The Flash runs. For fun.

In the immortal words of Pat Buttram "Run for fun? What the hell kind of fun is that?"
Point: Robin.
Let's see the Flash do THAT!

Robin was in the circus. The Flash, I dunno if he even has a job, or hobbies. He runs for fun after all. Point: Robin.

Final tally: Robin: like, a bazillion points. Flash: Zero. No need to go on. So let's take a closer look at the 1989 Toybiz Batcycle. It has a kick stand!

When you push a button on the gas tank, the side panels flip down to make little wings. Why? Who knows, I don't think it's supposed to fly or anything.

The bike was designed to compliment the '89 Batmobile and it does a pretty good job. Simple, fluid lines and lots of black. I'm sure it's pretty fast too.

But not as fast as The Flash!

Okay okay, the Flash can have one point, just so he doesn't try and outrun his tears.


  1. Well, since the Flash presented there was the Barry Allen Flash, then he was a police scientist, which -- according to all the CSI shows -- is oen of the coolest jobs around. Dick Grayson was a college student who sponged off his millionaire foster dad. I'd say that's at least a point for the Flash!

  2. DOH!

    Barry Allen never crossed my mind! I was thinking it was Wally West.

    Damn you Crisis on Infinite Earths!


  3. I'm pretty sure whatever information was on the card for the Toy Biz Flash indicated it was Barry - heck, the TB Flash was basically a copy of the Super Powers one!

  4. point toyriffic


  5. I consider myself an authority on Batman stuff based off the 89 film although the batcycle from Toy Biz wasn't even on my radar...I never knew it existed! I thought the first batcycle was part of the Dark Knight Collection by Kenner...now I know the truth! The Kenner Super Powers were far superior than their copies from Toy Biz. Robin's face looked odd..compare it to the Super Powers Robin face which looked 100% more accurate and "comic booky"

  6. CB - that is awesome, and earns so many bonus points for The Flash that I think it makes it a tie!

    Jay, I have the Kenner one as well. I may have to post it soon.

  7. Thought you would get a kick out of that...

    Jay, How could you not have this cycle, it is sweeeeet! I like it much better than the recycled Robocop Bat Cycle from Kenner, Had that one at one time too, or I should say my son did.

    It's a kick seeing all this stuff again!

  8. The Batcycle was one of my favorite as a kid, now I still have the Karate-chopping Robin minus the cape and lots of scrapes.

  9. ToyBiz really didn't know anything about making toys when they started out, which is probably why so many of their early figures were clearly copies of Kenner figures... you know, the better-looking ToyBiz figures. I always knew the Kenner Batcycle was a repurposed Robocop cycle (just as the Batcopter was a repurposed Super Powers Batcopter) but having finally gotten a good look at the ToyBiz Batcycle and Joker Cycle, I'm reasonably certain they were indeed based off of the Robocop cycle too. Obviously, there was some retooling done, but if you take a good look, there are clearly some matching characteristics on the bikes. The instrument panels and rear wheels are dead giveaways. More Kenner rip-offs!

    I had the opportunity to buy the ToyBiz Joker cycle on clearance at KayBee for $3 years ago, but having already had quite a bit of experience with how crappy ToyBiz toys were, I opted for the far superior Kenner Joker cycle. Seeing what the ToyBiz one sells for now makes me wish I had! Though the Kenner cycle is still far superior (and all in one piece... Kenner actually knew how to make toys).

    My favorite toyline of all time was Super Powers, and though I never had many, I was really bummed once it was gone. So when I opened up that Warner Bros. catalog all those years ago and saw those Batman movie figures for sale, I immediately ordered them, very, very excited. When they finally arrived, some time later, I got this hideous pot-bellied Batman with a badly misshapen head, and a fat-headed Joker figure that really didn't look any better, not the repainted Kenner figures ToyBiz had been using for their advertising. Man, did I feel cheated. I still hate ToyBiz to this day.

    The Batmobile was cheaply made, and has been steadily falling apart over the years, and I'm pretty sure the claw mechanism on my Batwing broke the same day I got it. My dad and his buddy went into the garage and did a repair job on it, but it broke again after only a use or two. At that point I realized ToyBiz toys were just garbage, and it was never going to work right.

    I'll never understand how ToyBiz got the license to make that first set of Batman movie figures and the DC Super Heroes line. Considering the toylines that had come before it, and those since, the ToyBiz figures seriously looked like cheap bootleg knock-offs (and considering a lot of them were copies of Kenner toys, they essentially were) you'd find some cheaply-made goods store in Chinatown. And they were being carried in all the big name stores! Naturally, I bought them, because that was the only option I had for DC figures at the time, but man, was I yearning for the far superior Super Powers toys of a few years prior. You can bet I was ecstatic once Kenner got the license back!