Rabbit Season! Duck Season! Hockey Season!

I've never seen the Emilio Esteves Oscar-contender 'The Mighty Ducks,' a movie about a 'Little League' or 'Pop Warner' or 'Small Icey' or whatever you call it kid's hokey team. I have also never seen the cartoon 'The Mighty Ducks,' which, just like the movie that inspired it, is about anthropomorphic ducks that play hockey and kick ass. Wait, what?

I have however seen some of the action figures in my second-hand travels. I was never tempted enough to buy any of them. Until I saw one with boobs.

This is 'Mallory McMallard' (because people name their kids 'Person McHumanbeing, right?) I know next to nothing about her, but Google tells me she's the weapons specialist of the group. If you have to ask why a hockey team needs a weapons specialist, you clearly don't follow hockey or know anything about ducks. NOT A DAMN THING!

She cost me a quarter, so I guess I did ok, right? I don't know. She could easily be customized into a Duck Stormtrooper, which might be kind of cool looking.