League Post :: A Real American ZERO!
This week's League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment:
"What piece of pop culture did you HATE as a kid?"
Me? I hated GI Joe.
Okay, maybe 'hate' is too strong a word. I wasn't entirely averse to the toys. I had a soldier who you could peg onto a little glider and toss through the air, and that was fun, and I had an Lt. Torpedo that some kids left at a construction site next door to my house that I 'findered keepered.' The toys were fun, I understood the appeal, and even have a handful of modern Joe toys today.
What I really hated was that insipid cartoon.
First: Lasers. WTF?!?! Where are the live rounds? The hot lead? The full metal jackets?
Second, they never shot SHIT! Ok, they shot planes down all day long (while the director made sure to show us the pilot eject and the parachute open every. single. time. EVEN FROM HELICOPTERS!) but they never shot a single PERSON.
THIS IS WAR, NOT TIDDLEY WINKS!
There would be a firefight, seven Joes on one side hiding behind a boulder while fifteen feet away sixteen Cobra soldiers hid behind a similarly sized boulder. Eightseventhousand laser beams are flying through the air bouncing off rocks and cactus and firing in every direction including those that only exist in the fifth dimension and no one ever hit anyone.
At least Transformers and GoBots got blasted in the arm or leg or shot out of the sky on occasion. Sure, they are robots and they can be repaired and there's no blood, but at least they ran the risk of being hurt! But watching an episode of GI Joe was like watching Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles play darts by moonlight. Actually, even that would have been more entertaining than an episode of GI Joe.
So there you have it. I hated the GI Joe cartoon.
What other hatemongering awaits?
Henchgirl hates Hermione, for fu%* sake!
Geeky Vixen hates your little pony, gawddammit!
And Retro Toy Safari hates dollies that are full of $#!t!