Superman Never Made Any Money...

Where were you the day Superman died?

In 1992 the world was shaken to it's core when it's mightiest hero fell.

Thankfully Supes' "death" was only for a short time, and soon the Last Son of Krypton rose again to continue his never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American way.

When he returned he had a mullet.

In 1995 Kenner produced this figure of Superman in his black and silver Kryptonian containment suit. Superman wore this costume for a brief period after his resurrection, as his power was not quite up to speed and it in some way channeled the sun's energy or enhanced his weakened state or helped him get season tickets to the Raiders or something.

The figure came with this silly weapon, which fired a red crystal-like projectile. A second projectile is stored above the firing projectile, giving the gun a double-barreled look. Intimidating!

A clever design, but Superman doesn't really need, nor would he use, a giant gun.

His arms are posed to hold the gun with both hands. I guess this is to reinforce his weakened state. Superman needs to use both arms to wield that bad boy! Whew!

"Yo, Adrian!"

Clark Kent, now there was a real gent.

"Superman's Song"
by Crash Test Dummies

Tarzan wasn't a ladies' man
He'd just come along and scoop 'em up under his arm
Like that, quick as a cat in the jungle
But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin' around in no
Junglescape, dumb as an ape doing nothing

Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him

Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he could have smashed through any bank
In the United States, he had the strength, but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead
Their planet crumbled but Superman, he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going

Tarzan was king of the jungle and Lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words: "I Tarzan, You Jane."

Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes
I'll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home.


  1. LOL, I was just listening to that song at work!

    I was in class the day I heard the news Superman had died. I rushed to the local comic shop to see if the caretaker, we'll call him "greasy", had pulled a copy for my subscription. He said "I didn't know you liked Superman" What! He's freaking dead, I need to see how he died!

    I tracked down a copy at another shop and it wasn't quit like I expected, still I wore my arm band and gave my respects. Still Steel (LOL, Still Steel) is the best thing to come out of the whole mess!

    Though I'm digging the black suit there Sups, way to rock a mullet!

  2. Too funny re: listening to this song CB. More psychic brother action!

    Cool story too. I also missed out on the issue when it came out. A similar thing happened - the comic shop didn't hold me one because I wasn't a general Superman reader. Then I had a friend say he'd sell me one of his at cost (he somehow had gotten three copies) when he came to school the next day he tried to gouge me for $50!

    Sufficed to say I waited for the re-print. Then I got the Black baggied version for Christmas from my parents but never opened it since I had already read it.

  3. Wow. I'd forgotten all about the Crash Test Dummies!

  4. Hey, I had that Superman. I think I still do somewhere