I saw Batman v Superman and here's what I think...

I will start with spoiler free statements, and warn you when the spoiler stuff begins, so don't worry, you will be warned before I potentially ruin the movie for you.

I caught an advanced screening of Batman v Superman on Monday night in IMAX. The movie was made for IMAX, with massive massiveness to the massive, amped up to around 11. I'm not a fan of this type of thing (or 3-D movies either for that matter) and generally prefer my movies on the normal sized screen (or TV) with a little thing called plot thrown in. Had I not gotten a free ticket I wouldn't have seen Batman v Superman in IMAX at all, but it was a thrill seeing and hearing and feeling the full IMAX experience during the (multiple) big action sequences. So if that's your thing, have at it.

I've grown too old to be angered by media of any kind if it's designed to entertain. It either entertains me or it doesn't. I don't get my panties in a bunch if something isn't my cup of tea. I also like to view the plethora (and there is a plethora nowadays, we are blessed and let us not forget that) of comicbook/superhero media as a multiverse; there's a different universe every direction you look. Batman v Superman isn't happening in my preferred 'universe,' but it's an entertaining movie if viewed in it's corner of the multiverse.

Batman v Superman didn't anger me, but I could see a part of me, or perhaps a younger me, being pretty miffed by a lot of it.

There will be a lot of people angered by Batman v Superman. There will be a lot of people confused, there will be a lot of people entertained. There will be a lot of people who will skip it entirely. They are all right. It isn't for everyone. And that's ok, unless the people it is for don't see it enough to raise the bucks for the next one. Maybe that's ok too. Schumacher brought us Nolan, so we owe him that much. Then again, a lot of people hated the Nolan-verse. You can't please everyone.

Batman v Superman is about 2.5 hours long, and feels like at least three movies jammed together. That isn't a complaint, necessarily. For the cost of movies these days, you get a good amount of time spent before the screen for your buck. But it felt forced at times, and that's just not necessary. I'm pretty sure the movie was exactly that, they took their Man of Steel part 2 script, mixed in their Justice League 1 script, and tossed Batman in because Batman has to be in everything, and voila! Batman v Superman!

The movie did not feel accessible to the common viewer, and it was very gloomy. The gloom is ok if that's your goal, because life isn't all wine and roses, but the lack of accessibility is not; especially when you are trying to build a movie universe.

Wonder Woman was incredible, Gal Gadot was incredible, and the Wonder Woman story thread left me wishing the movie would just jump rails and head in her direction and Bats and Supes could f' the right off. I am REALLY looking forward to the Wonder Woman solo flick!

Batman v Superman is big and bombastic and there's little plot and little motivation for any character, but there's lots of punching and smashing. It has some high points that are character perfect and some lows that are just sad. Overall I enjoyed it but I think I am more forgiving than both your hard-core comic fan and your common non-comic moviegoer.

I will say this, as both a Batman fan and a Batman via Frank Miller fan: Batman has been around for what, 77 years now? Frank Miller wrote maybe four Batman stories, two of which are actually good. WE ARE DONE WITH FRANK MILLER! QUOTE SOMEONE ELSE FOR BAT'S SAKE!

Batman v Superman doesn't tread any new ground (except perhaps with Wonder Woman) and doesn't improve on any movie that came before it. I do want and look forward to seeing it again, and perhaps I will be more happy with it after a second (non IMAX) viewing. I enjoyed it and wouldn't recommend you miss it, but if you miss it you aren't missing a life changing experience either.

My recommendation isn't glowing I know, but I did have fun watching the movie and I enjoyed it. Honestly, based on your feelings about Man of Steel and the previews for Batman v Superman, you can trust your instincts on whether you will like this movie or not. Plot was thin, motivation thinner, and EXPLOSIONZZZ!

Lastly, don't sit through the credits. Nothing there at the end, or middle. The movie is over when it ends.

And now...

SPOILERS

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Ok, you've been warned.

Batman kills. A lot. With guns, and not just in his dream sequence (which is forgivable.) And even a killing Batman is forgivable (Keaton did it) to an extent, but when you extend the logic of a Batman that is killing at Punisher levels you think to yourself 'why doesn't Bruce Wayne just spend his money on napalm and frag the whole damn block in one Batwing sweep instead of jumping in, sneaking around, punching the badguys first and THEN killing them when that doesn't work?!?!' It's a dumb approach. If Batman kills, have him just bomb the shit out of everybody and go home. Having him punch a bunch of guys then kill one later because it's convenient at that moment is just stupid. Or: why doesn't he just shoot Joker? He shoots nameless thugs, why not Joker?!?! The logic is dumb. Do it or don't it. But don't 'do it and/or don't it as the scene requires'. Dumb. (and no, Joker does not appear in Batman v Superman.)

Superman...oh man I feel bad for Superman fans. Everything wrong with Man of Steel was multiplied by twenty and Superman was treated by less than dirt in this movie. It's sad, and had me, a dyed in the wool Batman fan, wanting to slap Batman and slap some sense into Superman while I was at it.

Also, and again SPOILERS...

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Superman dies. I remember the Death of Superman comics in the nineties, and you do too I am sure. But what the hell are the average viewers going to do with that? I am tired of superhero movies jamming 1990s, years-long storylines into minutes worth of movie. It didn't work in The Dark Knight Rises, it won't work in Civil War, and it (Doomsday/Death of Superman) didn't work in Batman v Superman. Stop it. Write your own story for once!

Also, the whole Justice League set-up fell flat once Superman died. I kept waiting for Flash to appear and say 'the timeline is screwed, let's go back to pre-Supes/Zod and fix it all so everyone isn't written into a crappy and inescapable corner of the multiverse!' but it never happened.

Did I mention movies don't piss me off anymore?

Perhaps I am being too critical. Like I said, Wonder Woman was phenomenal, there were moments that were incredible (some of which I am not sure standard audiences will 'get') and it was cool to see Batman and Superman together (even f they were never really 'together'). A good movie but not a great movie. I hope the wrest the reigns away from Snyder and steer the franchise back to center, but if they don't here's hoping they get better directors and writers for the solo flicks.

Go see it or don't. Trust your gut. And don't get pissed about it. If this isn't your Supes or Bats, go read a comic or watch a cartoon that IS your Bats and Supes. Snyder didn't steal your childhood, he just made his own movie because that's his job and he got paid to do it.