I've heard of 'balls of steel' but this is just ridiculous. I stumbled onto (thank god not 'into') this toy on eBay. In fact, here's a link if you want to add Captain Metallic-Phallic to your collection! Don't say I never did anything for you.
So who is this guy with the girdered loins, and exactly what is going on with that armored schlong of his? Wait, I don't think I want to know.
Yes, I do.
And that brings us to a CONTEST!
In the comments section, tell us who this Metal Manthing is; what's his story? What are his extraordinary powers? Tell me about his arch-nemesis and his love interest(s.) Don't worry about keeping it clean, just keep it funny. I'll pick the story that I think is funniest after October 15th (contest is open until 10/15 at midnight my time) and send that person some toys! I don't know what I'll send, but it won't be junk, it'll be fun!
So, as Lightning-Rod's arch-foe The Socket said before the fuse blew and the power went out: 'Bring it on!'