Ten Toys More Offensive Than Breaking Bad Action Figures

You've probably heard the news by now: A Florida mom got all butt-hurt because she saw a Breaking Bad action figure in Toys R Us and was able to raise enough of a commotion to get the toy removed from shelves.

What gets me about these people and their bunched-panty-attitudes is their complete lack of knowledge and true understanding of what really exists on toy store shelves. Breaking Bad toys offend you? Why just those, when there are literally hundreds of things one could get offended about on the Nerf aisle alone!

All that the misguided offense proves to me is that the offended have very little actual awareness of the thing they claim to be offended by. To wit: inappropriate themes in children's playthings.

I, however, have a tremendous knowledge of children's playthings, bordering on the obsessive. To wit: this blog.

So put on your grouchy pants and get ready to yell at some clouds, for today I bring you:

Toyriffic's list of Ten Toys More Offensive Than Breaking Bad Action Figures.

10) Imaginext Meth Cooker

Before that Florida Mom got all butt-hurt about a toy made for adult collectors on the adult collector aisle, she should have swung by the pre-school aisle. She might have found the Imaginext Series 3 Blind Bags, and she might have found therein - Walter freakin' White himself!

Okay, so in Fisher-Price's defense, this might just be a hazmat dude who looks, well, exactly like Walter White. But hey, if we're getting aggro about toys, why let 'facts' get in our way?

9) Marvel Superhero Squad Ghost Rider

The primary argument against the Breaking Bad adult collectibles is that they are action figures representing offensive themes (and include a bag of meth as an accessory) and they are within childrens' view.

Well, the Breaking Bad toys are aimed at the over 15 set for one thing, and for twosies, if you haven't seen the show (or meth for that matter) little about the action figures is really offensive, visually speaking. Has this mom ever heard of Todd McFarlane? That stuff needs no context!

But back on topic - Ghost Rider here was aimed directly at the pre-school set. And his head is on fire. And he's weilding a mace. That is on fire. And he's a leather-clad skull-faced biker-gang-member DEMON FROM HELL!

For preschoolers.

Okay, maybe only half of that comes across in the toy, without any previous comic book knowledge.

But, you know, that Breaking Bad action figure might warp my kid's mind, even if they've never seen the show.

8) Cobra Commander

The guy is basically Hitler. With Kung-Fu grip.

7) The Ultra-Humanite

What offends you? Because Ultra Humanite's seventy plus years of history probably have you covered. Mad scientist, bank robber, mass murderer, a penchant for human and animal experimentation...and classical music.

Poaching? Gotcha covered: There was once a nice, tranquil and presumably rare albino gorilla just chillin' in the jungle before Ulta Humanite cut out it's brain and replaced it with his own!

He was also a woman once. That's bound to offend someone in Florida. But Hey Kids, he came with a Jet Sled (that converted into a gun)! OfFUNsive!

8) Power Girl by DC Universe Classics

Cleavage like that has no place in a Toys R Us store. Unless it's in the maternity section.

7) Scarface and The Ventriloquist

Breaking Bad toys are based on a couple guys who cooked some meth and killed a couple dudes. On a tv show no kid should watch, and if they do it's the parents who dropped the ball, not Toys R Us (they ain't piping the show down the toy aisles, lady!)

Ventriloquist and Scarface, well...where do I begin? The Ventriloquist...he's mentally ill. A murderer and a gangster to boot. He projects the darker aspects of his personality onto a puppet...that is modeled after Al Pacino's Scarface character from one of the most violent films of all time. Which is loosely based on the life of Al Capone, the real Scarface, who murdered and tortured and robbed and ran drugs and whore houses and didn't pay his taxes.

And this action figure here? It's based on a cartoon. You know...for kids.

But those Breaking Bad toys, well they gotta go!

6) Playmobil Vampiress

Vampires are everywhere in the toy aisles these days, and it doesn't even have to be Halloween. They're hip! So hip, even Playmobil is not immune to their charms, having a few versions of Vampires and Vampiresses (Vampiressessess?) available. And you know what vampires do, right? They suck blood! They kill, and make sex-slaves for themselves, and perhaps others if they are at a loss for a gift or something.

They are undead demons from hell.

This one even came with a chalice of blood.  Yay accessories!

5) Deathstroke

Assassin. Pedo. In stores now!

4) Han Solo

Han Solo is a pirate and a smuggler. Smuggler of what, you ask? I think the official explanation is 'Spices' Like black pepper and cumin, you say? Yeah, I don't buy it either. Mos Eisely may be a hive of scum and villainy, but so is Wal-Mart, and I can get a whole rack of spices there, and it's on rollback. Ain't no one needs no smuggler for no spices!

Nah, the dude was totally a drug runner. For the (Hutt) mob. No better than Jesse Pinkman, some might say.

3) Darth Vader

He's everywhere. Not just in action figures mind you. He's even a HotWheel now!

Vader was instrumental in the destruction of an entire planet. He enslaved whole species. He hopped his own son's hand off. He tortured his future son-in-law (okay, so there's no crime there).

He also killed a whole bunch of younglings single-handedly. Literally, he only had one had at the time. HAW!

But it's okay, because we called them 'younglings' and not 'innocent children.'

Zoom zoom!

2) The Joker

What evil, malicious, disgusting, depraved, immoral, disturbing act hasn't the Joker committed?

It's a short list.

1) Emperor Palpatine

I ranked this guy higher (lower?) than Darth Vader himself because (nobody's Pal)patine pretty much puppet-mastered the heck out of old Annie.

It's a hard-knock life indeed.


  1. This was a excellent list Eric but I hope that lady in Florida doesn't see it lol.

  2. Great post and hilarious as well,but i have to side with the parent on this one.I understand that other lines and figures,including Joker ,Leatherface,Kason Vorhees could be equally offensive but i see no need to open up the floodgates.Even though we're entering a more drug friendly era,iv heard meth can really destroy someone.

  3. Gotta disagree with you on this one Tony. The figures are clearly labeled as to their audience, and it certainly isn't ages 4 and up. They were in their own section of the store, away from toys directed at children. They're intended for people who have seen the show and want some collectibles from it. If she doesn't want her child to know what the show is, or to have the figures, it's a simple solution. Don't let them watch the show, and don't buy the figures for them.

    1. TRU is a kids store,though Chris.If you let this one slide then where do you draw the line after?Im not against the figure but agsinst it being sold in a toy store aimed at kids.

    2. I agree with the parent and Tony on this one.Toys r us is a kids store and we (the adults who collect children's play things) need to understand that we are not truly the intended market of the store.Letting these figure be sold there is really only one step away from having fully anatomically correct Porn star action figures with real anal action or a double penetration gift pack hanging on the shelves. Having it marked as 15 or over means nothing when your 5 year old daughter ,giddy with the excitement of being in a toy store, comes across one of these figures laying misplaced in the my little pony section.With the world the way it is today kids are under a constant barrage of innocence destroying images everywhere they turn but Toys are us is meant to be a safe zone and it shouldn't be less safe because We ( the collecting fringe) want to be able to get everything we want in one place. These figures are better suited for Spencers or Hot Topic and comic book stores and really just dont have a place in a child friendly store.Sure they are in the "adult" section but that adult section in my local store is in the center of the isle with kids stuff on either side of it, these breaking bad figures are literately hanging right beside Adventure Time figures.The world need its child friendly zones and Toys r us has always been pushed as one of them, are we really in a world where its a good idea to put a stand selling sex toys , porn mags ,cigarettes and booze at the front door of the preschool?

    3. C'mon Bro Midnight. A child isn't going to have their innocence stripped away because they see a Breaking Bad action figure. Everyone is making it sound like these figures are going to traumatize children or cause them to lead a life of crime, when I can't think of anything more ridiculous. If that were the case, then every child that enjoys playing with toys that come with guns and swords would grow up to be violent psychopaths.

      Besides, if the stores near me are any indication, you're more likely to see a 30 year old skipping down the aisles than a 5 year old. I rarely see children shopping in there anymore, even with their parents.

      I guess this whole controversy won't matter much in the long run, since I'll be surprised if TRU manages to stay open through next year. They seem to think they can compete with online retailers and department stores, but I find that hard to do when you don't actually have any stock on the shelves.

    4. I see it as not a true loss of a child innocence but the loss of the illusion of innocence that the bright ,shinny toy store once had in the days before things like this. it used to be you could go in there and it was a world of its own where the problems of the real world stopped at the door but with our generation growing up we felt like we needed to drag everything with us. Just because we are adults with adult tastes now doesn't mean that there aren't still kids out there that deserve that innocent escape land that Toys r us provided to us from the 70's and 80's. Why do we feel the need to do a "gritty" reimaging of everything these days? why cant our kids have that same clean fun non gritty that we got to have? When I was a kid there was no "adult" section to the toy store, it was a place for kids and just going to toys r us was a treat on its own whether I was able to get anything or not. Why do we need to rebrand Fairyland as Booty dance bodega because we are older? It was never for "us" it was for who we where, and as adults most people fail to see that and collectors are really really bad about seeing that. When a forum goes off about how stupid the firing rocket feature on a GI Joe figure is saying that its a baby or kiddie feature they dont seem to relies that they are completely right it is a kid feature because its a toy made to be played with by kids not to satisfy an adult who thinks the company dropped the ball by not making the figure have 60 points of articulation.Toys r us is a child's store adult toys can go any place else.

    5. Bro, the examples you've used in comparative capacities are at an extreme end of the spectrum, even for what you're comparing them to. You find a figure inappropriate because you've seen the show/film on which it is based and you're using your "interpretation" of what it represents combined with reminiscence to mold an opinion. It's doubtful that a kid, at the age I think we're focusing on here, in the action figure aisle has all those wheels turning as it's not likely in most cases that he/she has seen or is familiar with the source content. There ARE figures out there that are extremely graphic and bedazzled with blatant gore and innuendo and barring a few oversights or indiscriminate tosses onto the wrong shelves by lazy customers having a last second change of mind I'm pretty sure they're kept out of sight and beyond the wingspan of the average preschooler. In YOU that aisle in the toy store sparks a moral and ethical debate fueled by an accumulation of information over a timespan that, to a kid, is "like oh my god you're old that's like forever, what are you a thousand?" incomprehensible, along with memories of a time when toys possessed a "perceived" innocence of which today, they are completely void and what might have been a childhoods worth of generalized, simplified or sugar coated explanations. A kid just sees a cool toy. Every child is an individual and their parent or parents should know well that individual because it is their responsibility to decide what they may or may not be able to understand, what they can or cannot handle until the time comes that proves they can make those decisions as such. A very clear and thorough understanding of your children and vice versa can be easily attained by observing, asking, answering(truthfully, honestly, it IS possible. You can find a way) LISTENING, making sure they KNOW, WITHOUT A DOUBT that they can come to you FOR ANY REASON and talk to you about ANYTHING, mutual respect and oh yeah, LISTENING. All this can be done while still maintaining and not limiting your parental role by resorting to " Because I'M the parent and YOU'RE the child". It's just my opinion, of course.

    6. Congratulations , what you have done here is called necroing. I mean this post is over a year old and I had to go back and read it to even know what the heck you where talking about. I honestly never cared one way or the other I just thought I would stand on the unpopular side because it was the more interesting thing to do.This world is ruined and allowing a toy on the shelves isnt going to sway things in either direction. But hay at least I got people thinking for that short point in time.

  4. If they permanently remove the Breaking Bad figures, what's next? Predator? Aliens? Robocop (original, they can take the new ones)?

    What was that movie where those two guys that were best friends end up fighting and one of them cuts off the other ones legs and an arm and leaves him to die in a lava pit? Oh yeah, it was a PG-13 Star Wars movie that marketed toys to kids under 10.

    1. I dont think you ban the toy,just dont sell it in whats supposed to be a kid friendly dept. store.Its common sense really.Star Wars and all those other movies are graphic yes,but are purely fantasy situations.Meth is a real problem and something that shouldnt be in the packaging of an action figure in a TRU,even in toy form imo.Uh Oh this is starting to feel like a "controversial Thursday" post Lol!

    2. I completely understand what you are saying but I have also thought for a long time that a lot of the things that have been at Toys r Us shouldn't have been there or should have been in a section COMPLETELY away from the children's toys ( something like the room at the back of the video store with the curtains where kids absolutely had no business being and everybody was clear on that point). I didnt agree with the scarface figure hanging in the store and I dont think good old Walter White is any better. Now dont get me wrong , Im not against the figures in any way , Im actually a fan of them but I just dont think Toys r Us is the best outlet for them just like I dont think the best outlet to sell preschool toys is in the hardcore bondage and leather chaps store.

  5. I've got several problems with the Florida mom's petition. One is that she didn't even see the figures in person before she started her campaign, which supports the notion that they are not in the same area as her kids' toys otherwise she would have stumbled across them. Instead she was just told about them by a friend over the phone and got all twisted.

    The idea that seeing these figures hanging on the peg is damaging to a child is ridiculous. A kid who sees one of these at Toys R Us would have no context to understand what they were. Unless the parents exposed their children to this show, which is completely up to the parents, then a child is only going to see a boring figure of a guy, not a meth dealer.

    It's disturbing that all it takes is 9000 anonymous signatures to get a store to pull them. I would not be surprised if 90% of the signatures on that petition are from people who never step foot in a TRU. If you read the comments on that petition you'll see quickly that people are signing because they have inaccurate perceptions of how these toys are marketed, and who's actually buying them. They truly think these are supposed to be kids' toys, or that children are running around playing Walter White at recess. These perceptions have been driven by sensationalized stories and half truths. Who knows how many people signed it multiple times, and when I said "anonymous" I mean that even the mother who started it didn't put her real name on the petition. Her real name didn't come out until the news picked up the story.

    I can understand the argument that Toys R Us is a safe place for kids, except they have carried adult collectibles for well over a decade. Long before I ever started collecting as an adult I remember seeing Reservoir Dog figures at the store, and Mr. Black even came with a straight razor as an accessory. That had to be in the late 90s, maybe the early 00s, so this is nothing new for TRU.

    I am mostly disturbed by the mentality of "what's best for my kids is best for everyone's kids." Instead of this parent just exercising her freedom to NOT buy these for her children, keep her kids out of that aisle or heck turn it into a teaching moment about shows that are inappropriate or how drugs are nothing to play around with, she instead wants to take everyone's ability to purchase them away.

    I get why TRU pulled the figures, but I wish there were more people out their who would put their efforts into parenting their own kids, and not mine.

    1. Thank you for writing out exactly what's in my brain

    2. It's not the kids that are being parented,It's the adults who made the decision to place toy meth in the toy's packaging.Straight razors,guns,even chainsaws are legal,Meth isn't.That's the reason why Joe figures and certain horror figures show the weapons in hand and even say on the packaging-Weapons Included-.It's also a reason why the Breaking Bad figure doesn't say -Meth Included.

    3. Its not just this figure its the "adult figures in general that have no place in the store. They advertise themselves as a place where kids can walk through the store and its a completely friendly environment to them and having any "adult oriented toys strays from the philosophy they are trying to convey in nearly every add they have ever put on tv. The argument has been brought forward that toys r us started carrying the adult toys to compete with stores like walmart but if you really sit and look at the data its pretty apparent that TRU's business has been dropping steadily from about the time they expanded into the "adult' collectibles, is it because the non collecting parents started to find that they didnt want to have to avoid the adult section in a store meant for kids?
      I dont feel like typing all this out again so Im going to copy and past a conversation I had with a couple well known toy blogger:
      Anthony DashOct 24, 2014
      They should remove G.I. Joes because I'm against wars, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because I'm against karate. 
      Bro MidnightOct 24, 2014+1
      see thats the problem, its not about what you or I want and collectors
      really fail to see that. It is a store for children not for adult
      collectors, that is what is has always been and because we a fringe
      group feel like we should be able to buy what ever we want were ever
      we want just doesnt make it so.The toys you chose as examples are made
      and marketed to kids as play things and are fine there but things that
      are made for adults to collect are not.Adult oriented toys really
      could go anyplace else other then a store that has always been
      directed to kids.If I and all my adult friends are into satanic snuff
      films does that automatically make it ok for them to be sold alongside
      the kids movies at Walmart? As adults we need to understand that we
      collectors are fringe market and that there is absalutly no reason
      that every aspect of society should be expected to cater to us.We
      should just be thankful that these things are being produced for us at
      all and happily buy them at comic book store and other non child
      specific places.
      yo go reOct 24, 2014
      Store's name is "TOYS" R Us, not "KIDS" R Us. Yes, TRU has always been directed to kids, but they realized there was a portion of the market they weren't getting money from, and tapped into that as a way to fight Walmart - there's no shame in that.
      Your satanic snuff films might not be sold at WM, but they should probably be available at a store called We Sell U Movies. TRU isn't a general merchandise store, it's a place that sells toys - including toys that would mean nothing to children unless they have epically terrible parents...
      Bro MidnightOct 24, 2014+1
      I do see that point but even in the most recent Toy r Us add campaigns
      they are promoting themselves as a kid friendly family safe store.
      Sure, there is no shame in trying to make it in today's market but
      having an "adult" section smack in the middle of kid friendly play
      things is less then child friendly.It all rolls back to the fact that
      for decades now they have advertised themselves as a kids store and
      that is truly how the mass of the non collecting population still sees
      them.A non collector grandparent out for an innocent fun trip with the
      young grandkids will have no idea that there is a section of toys not
      meant for kids sitting right between the adventure time figures and
      power rangers (exactly were they are in my local TRU) and in a store
      boasted as child safe they really shouldn't need to worry about it.

    4. I can't tell you how many AD&D books I bought at TRU in the 80s. I'm surprised something similar didn't happen back then (Or if it did, I forgot about it)

    5. Tony and Bro Midnight, I think both of you make some really good points. Especially how meth is illegal while other items in toys aren't, I get that. Bro Midnight, I also think you have a good idea of having further separation between the adult collectibles and the rest of the toy store. I also don't like being on the same side of an argument as yo go re, because I disagree with a lot of the stuff he says :D

      My biggest issue from all of this is that here is a mother who saw something that she deemed inappropriate for her kids to see. Instead of working on keeping her children away from the figures, she decided that they were inappropriate for every kid to see and wanted to take away the ability to purchase the figures from this store. I like the idea of having a "safe place" to take my daughter. However, I don't want to inconvenience a large group of people just because I don't want to have to watch which aisle my daughter wanders down at the toy store.

      That is my real beef, it didn't have to be over a Breaking Bad action figure, it didn't have to involve Toys R Us, it could be over a number of things at a number of different stores. I see it as a personal freedom issue.

      I think we've reached the point of discussion where we just have to agree to disagree. I acknowledge that you both make good points, and I'm not going to try to convince you to see things my way, I just happen to put more value in areas which ultimately make me side against the mother.

    6. Thats all completely understandable. I think the real issue might be simply poor planing on the part of Toys r us. They probably should have put a little more thought in to the way they would handle adult collectibles when they made the move into that field. This is very similar to the situation that sprung up in the early 80's with the video store boom. Some people wanted adult movies and didnt see an issue with them being on the video store shelve while others didnt have any interest in them and thought they didnt belong in the video store and threw a fit about them, so long story short and one simple solution later we got the room in the back with the curtains clearly marked as adult territory.

    7. It's all good Clark!More obscene than the Breaking Bad figures at TRU are the marked up prices on their Marvel Universe and G.I. Joe figure,sheesh LOL!But seriously I respect your side of the argument and thank you for respecting mine ;)

  6. Regardless of what side of the debate you fall on, I just want to thank everyone for your incredibly insightful and thought-out responses.